Meds & Supplies

These are some medicines and supplies we received from CRS today.  They were given to us in anticipation of the patients who are going to be sent this week.  We are now on the official list of referral centers for post-operative care. 

We have been anxiously awaiting word on when we would be receiving people.  We had expected to have them coming quite a while ago, knowing what the need is.  No one has ever dealt with this scope of disaster and injury before.  No one is prepared for it.  Much to our frustration, things are just barely starting to get organized in Port au Prince.  There are incredible bottlenecks. We hope to start receiving some orthopedic post-op patients and possibly some stabilized spinal cord injuries and burn patients.  Because of our very bad roads, it's not just as simple as driving in and picking them up in our ambulances.

We have been treating these past few days of waiting as the calm before the storm.

Cool T-shirts

Kate Butler was one of our visitors who arrived the day the earthquake hit.  She was deeply touched by her experience here and decided to do what she could when she got home.  She has started a website to sell t-shirts to support St. Boniface Haiti Foundation.

Check it out, click here.  I particularly like the "nourishment" shirt.

Favour

Does anyone know how I would go about finding scholarship information for a young Haitian man who wants to study agriculture in Canada?  My online searching isn't providing much information.

And now for something completely different...

Catch What's on Your Plate?, the documentary about kids and food politics, on national TV this February 7th, 2010!

Join families across the country for a Family Cook-In! on Sunday, February 7th and spend an afternoon learning with your kids about food - what it's made of, where it come from and how to enjoy every bite.

First, download our Screening Toolkit. It has all the stuff you need to have a fun and delicious Family Cook-In!
Second, watch What's on Your Plate? at 2:00 p.m. on Discovery's Planet Green. (Go to http:planetgreen.channelfinder.net to find your local channel).
Third, check out the games and activities in our Screening Toolkit.
Fourth, cook and eat together! Get everyone in the kitchen chopping, stirring, pouring and baking. Then sit down together for some fresh and yummy home-cooked food.

Think food justice is too tricky for kids? Think again.

What's On Your Plate? proves that not only can kids understand the issues, they can actually teach other kids about how they are what they eat.

The film follows two eleven-year-old multi-racial city kids as they explore their place in the food chain. Sadie and Safiyah take a close look at food systems in New York City and its surrounding areas. With the camera as their companion, the girl guides talk to each other, food activists, farmers, new friends, storekeepers, their families, and the viewer, in their quest to understand what’s on all of our plates.

According to Michael Pollan: ""What's On Your Plate?" is exactly the film we need now."

And Alice Waters says: "It was an amazing experience to hear kids talking about these issues. This movie can have a real impact on the way we think about what we’re eating."

Don't miss this chance to see this witty and provocative film on national television!
Join in the conversation on how we can change what we eat, and in the process, change our world.

Visit our website for more information on the film and how you can get involved.
www.whatsonyourplateproject.com
Can't make the Family Cook-In! broadcast? No problem.
The film will be showing throughout the week, with additional broadcasts on:
Saturday February 6th, 2010 at 10 pm
Thursday February 11th at 11 pm
Friday February 12th at 7 am
Friday February 12th at 3 pm

St. Boniface Update

Conor Shapiro
Director
St. Boniface Haiti Foundation
Fond des Blancs, Haiti
Jan. 29th, 2010

St. Boniface Earthquake Relief Update

The overall situation on the ground here in Haiti remains very confusing. It’s not clear who is able to accept patients for surgery, which hospitals can no longer accept patients, and who does/doesn’t have transportation for patients. We continue to do everything we can here at the hospital to take care of those who need care. There are a couple of new avenues where we are throwing ourselves into the relief effort


1) We continue to correspond regularly with the USNS Comfort Navy hospital ship that is receiving more cases than they are equipped to handle. They already have a waiting list that is beyond their capabilities and are running out of time to treat those in need. We are one of the hospitals responsible for post-op care from the ship and although we are ready and waiting, the Comfort doesn’t have enough helicopters to get patients off the ship. These delays in moving patients to post-op are creating bottlenecks that are severely limiting the Comfort’s ability to provide surgery for patients in dire need of care. We should start receiving post-op patients by helicopter to Fond des Blancs tomorrow, but if the Comfort doesn’t receive more helicopters it could be a long wait. A captain from the ship is working with the US military to get us cots, as we are quickly going to run out of beds here at the hospital once the flights start to finally come in.

We are working with Catholic Relief Services, USAID, and donations from the US to help us receive all of these new patients discharged from the Comfort. Once patients start to arrive, we will analyze their needs and perhaps request volunteers from abroad to help us with certain cases.

2) We are also working with Captain Coulter of the 82nd Airborne, whose team has been trying to evacuate 6 severely malnourished children from Mother Teresa’s home in Port-Au-Prince. The home was set up to take care of the kids, but collapsed during the earthquake. Capt. Coulter is trying to find a helicopter (apparently an impossible task these days) to take the children out to us for treatment. If we can’t find a helicopter we will send an ambulance and go pick them up. It sounds like we are the only place that Capt. Coulter has found that is willing to take these kids in for treatment and I am sure we are going to receive a lot more patients from his unit in the coming days.


We have been battling for goods and services in the last couple days and have been somewhat successful in a couple of areas:

A) WHO

Jean Bertrand (one of our ambulance drivers) and I went to Port-Au-Prince yesterday morning to find meds and supplies for the hospital. All of our previous pharmacies have collapsed or been closed since the quake and we have not been able to purchase our general stocks for the hospital. Thanks to a tip from some friends at Partners in Health, we were able to get to the World Health Organization and find some essential meds to keep our operations going. We also made additional contacts to purchase or receive meds and supplies from other organizations in the coming weeks.

B) UNICEF

We are currently working on a partnership with UNICEF that would help provide nutritional and primary health interventions in Fond des Blancs, Villa, and a few of the numerous makeshift (sheets and sticks for houses) refugee camps that have sprung up in Port-Au-Prince and Petit-Goave. Dr. Miliane Clermont has been meeting with some of the committees set up by the refugee camps and we hope to start a partnership with UNICEF to start to take care of their residents’ basic needs (especially for mothers and children). In the meantime, we have given Dr. Miliane some pediatric medications to take care of some immediate needs in the camps.

C) Funding

The banks are starting to work again and we are able to use your donations. It has been tricky to get cash since the earthquake, but thankfully banks are finding ways to stay open. Our staff received payroll without delay this month.

Our team on the ground continues to do remarkable work and I am constantly impressed by their resilience and solidarity. Our staff has been through a lot since the earthquake, but they continue to do everything possible to participate in the relief effort. This is going to be a long haul and I couldn’t be prouder of the attitude and dedication of those who work for St. Boniface.

Please feel free to write me at conorshap at yahoo dot com if you have any questions or comments, or visit our website at www.haitihealth.org to see how you can help.

The small things

There's still a sense here among us that this can't be real. We were just talking about waking up in the morning and then remembering how things have changed. It is surreal and sometimes it just hits you in the face. I haven't had a lot of tears but they do come, and unexpectedly.

When I open or save files on my computer now I am looking mostly at a folder called "Earthquake Emergency Relief". I can't believe that I have a folder named that. Earthquake?

I know this post is trivial in face of what is going on in the country. But maybe by sharing the small things I can also share the scope, the impact of what is happening. Or maybe not.

I've been keeping track of some of the food prices in our market with the help of our cooks. I want to know how things are changing for the average person. They seem to be stable this week, but most things have increased by at least 25%. Haiti relies heavily on imported foods, and the vast majority of people here had a difficult time purchasing food at the normal prices, now many things are already out of reach.

One small thing I've noticed - we were laughing about it in the kitchen today - is that even though the price of bread has not gone up, the rolls have shrunk by about 25%. These diamond shaped rolls are the form of bread we have in this region and are made with unenriched white wheat flour. They are heavy, usually about 4 ounces, or the equivalent of 4 slices of regular white bread at home. They are now about 3 ounces. The cooks were giggling, wondering how small they are going to get before the price goes up. They've been through this before.

History may be Haiti's greatest resource

This article is incredibly moving.  Haiti is alive, she will live.

History may be Haiti's greatest resource

Dr. Joia Mukherjee, Partners in Health
The Huffington Post

Haiti was founded by a righteous revolution in 1804, the first black republic, the first to force Emperor Napoleon to retreat, the first to break the chains of slavery, the only to aid Bolivar in his struggle to liberate Latin America. It is the response of the powerful to that history that has impoverished Haiti. Feared by Jefferson for their successful uprising; extorted by France in 1825 for 150 million French francs to compensate France for losing these once chatteled people (a debt the Haitian people finally finished repaying more than a century later); occupied by the U.S. military to stifle European influences in Latin America; disrespected in their quest for democracy by dictators and coup d'états backed by Western powers, the free people of Haiti have been continually crushed with the enormous debt that attempted to re-shackle them.

Why does this history matter in the face of the current tragedy? Because this history and the constant fight and struggle of the Haitian people for justice and dignity are their greatest resource. It is this history that makes Haiti mighty -- mighty without wealth, without natural resources, without arable land and without arms.

continue reading here


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Schools & WSJ article

I apologize for all the news articles, but I am only really posting things that deal with issues that I'm encountering.  For example, I've been reading about Infant and Young Child Feeding (IYFC) and how the unorganized and unrestricted distribution of infant formula can be damaging to a community's health - mothers need to be supported in breastfeeding their children and use infant formula only as a last resort.

This article about schools from the Wall Street Journal is timely.  We've been talking about it, wondering about when the schools will reopen.  So many people want it to happen.  There are so many things complicating it, like how on earth will the state be able to administer exams?

School is a huge deal in Haiti.  Everyone wants their children to go. Most schools in the cities are full from morning until night as different age groups and courses switch through.  That's why there were so many fatalities at that time of day - many of them were full.

The journalist makes a small mistake.  The reason so many people send their children to private schools is because there are not enough public schools.  The state cannot support free education to all children - it is a constitutional right in Haiti but it has never been able to do so.  The private schools are businesses.  The vast majority of schools do not offer a quality education - public or private.  Only 50% of the children  in Fond des Blancs go to school because their parents cannot afford to pay for it.

Call for breast milk donations in Haiti goes bust

Call for breast milk donations in Haiti goes bust

Intentions may be good, but supply isn't safe or necessary, aid groups say

By JoNel Aleccia

Health writer, msnbc.com

When lactation consultant Faith Ploude heard that babies in Haiti might need donated breast milk, she made sure to get the word out to her classes at Mercy Hospital in Miami — and her database of more than 1,000 nursing moms.

“Everybody is moved because Haiti is so devastated,” she said.

But it turns out that Ploude and a bevy of United States breast-feeding advocates may have unleashed a well-meaning but misguided flood of mothers’ milk to the earthquake-shattered nation, one that aid workers in Haiti say was not requested — and is not needed.

Tell them not to send it,” said Eric Porterfield, a spokesman for the American Red Cross. “I’m 100 percent sure we didn’t ask for that.”

The international Emergency Nutrition Network has asked one group, the Human Milk Banking Association of North America, to retract a press release this week that issued an “urgent call” for breast milk for orphaned and premature infants in Haiti, saying the donations contradict best practices for babies in emergencies. 

continue reading here  

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Some numbers

It is difficult to get my mind around the enormity of the situation.  I found some figures this morning that help to quantify how big it is.

• 3 million people affected, with 2 million of those in PaP, Carrefour and Petionville (suburbs of PaP)

• 400,000 people in camps

• 1.6 million with unknown whereabouts but internally displaced (have gone to countryside or other cities)

• 480,000 of those affected are children under the age of 5; 204,000 are under the age of 2
  

• 240,000 are pregnant and lactating women

It says 3 million have been affected, but that is only directly by the devastation.  100% of the population has been affected.  100% of the population will be struggling for years to come.

USNS Comfort

We are still awaiting the arrival of patients being sent from the USNS Comfort for post-op care.  We are anticipating that they will start arriving this morning.

Here's an article from USA Today detailing the great work that they are doing in Haiti.

Haiti's 'floating hospital': Tough questions on USNS Comfort


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Aftershocks

The aftershocks continue and are getting to be annoying.  We had a very brief stronger one about an hour ago.  We feel mild ones quiet frequently but the stronger ones are quite disconcerting.  Some are short and sharp, like just one blow, but others last a little longer and feel like several vibrations.

After seeing the escalation of the severity of damage as you get closer to Leogane, I can only imagine what these feel like closer to the epicenter.

We're about to get very busy

Conor Shapiro, MPH
Director
St. Boniface Haiti Foundation
Fond des Blancs, Haiti
www.haitihealth.org
1/26/10


St. Boniface Haiti Foundation Earthquake Report

The St. Boniface Haiti Foundation and St. Boniface Hospital continue to be part of relief efforts and health interventions in the wake of the earthquake. We have started a number of initiatives and will continue to do everything possible to ease suffering in the wake of this unprecedented disaster.

1. We have been asked by the USS Comfort to start receiving patients who underwent surgery on their ship and now need post-op care. Helicopters should start landing in a field next to the hospital by noon today. We have agreed to take as many patients as we can hold and our staff will be working closely with the medical staff of the comfort in order to ensure a smooth transition of care. We are also partnering with Catholic Relief Services to ensure adequate supplies, housing, and food. Donations to support the hospital and to support the care of all our patients are extremely welcome.
   
2. Our recently completed Villa Clinic was destroyed by the earthquake, but this has not prevented our staff from organizing a new clinic in a neighboring church. Without these crucial primary health services, the desperately poor population who relies on the clinic would be without any access to care. We will continue to do everything possible to ensure a continuity of care despite no longer having an adequate building to provide these services.
3. Dr. Miliane Clermont, a long-time St. Boniface employee is spending this week as an ambassador from our St. Boniface to a few makeshift refugee camps in Port-Au-Prince. Hundreds of thousands of people have fled to these makeshift camps (usually nothing more than sheets and sticks) throughout the capital. Dr. Clermont will be working with a couple of these settlements to help their leadership identify needs and eventually provide basic services.

St. Boniface continues to do everything possible to ease the suffering in the wake of the earthquake. We thank you for your continuous support and generosity. Please visit www.haitihealth.org to see more about our foundation.

Haitian proverb

Depi tet pa koupe nou espere met chapo

If they haven't cut our head off yet, we can still wear a hat

We're alive, we will live

Quick Post?

It takes me a long time to write a blog post.  I don't write easily.  I only have about half an hour to do this so it may be a little disjointed.  Ok, so maybe it will be easier to write it in point form.  Here goes:

• I went to Port au Prince today for a national nutrition meeting. I didn't really want to go in to the city, but I didn't want to miss the meeting.  National planning and networking is underway to assess the nutriton situation in the country and to plan programming.  It was at a tent at the airport as Unicef lost their building in the quake.  We got some good information and will be moving full steam ahead this week.  I'll write more about it as it comes to pass.
• Driving into the city was difficult emotionally.  There's not much obvious damage out here but as you get closer, it becomes more apparent. The first thing I saw were some rock falls onto the road, and then as we drove into Petit Goave and Grand Goave we started to see the fallen buildings.  Leogane is a disaster. There is hardly a house standing, large or small. It seems like everything has been flattend.
• Port au Prince is getting better but is horrifying.  There weren't any bodies around, and the population that is left seems to be getting on with their lives.  The marchands are selling on the streets and people are out and about.  There are many,many buildings down and tents and makeshift tents everywhere.  The median between the two lanes of traffic of Route Nationale through Martissant has tents covering the whole thing.  People are living between the lanes!
  
• There are a lot of organizations on the ground, from every country imagineable.  We saw American soldiers, and some Canadians too.  UN forces are a continued presence.  They are doing all different kinds of good work.  I saw water being distributed in a few places.

• I saw only two men looting, and no violence whatsoever.  There are HUGE lines at all of the wire transfer places that have opened up.  There are HUGE lines of people waiting for food at Champs Mars.  In all places, I saw people in orderly lines, patiently waiting for hours on end.  That is one thing that is never gets shown, seems to never get stated: Haitians are very patient people.
• I saw Dr. Cadet and gave him a big, hard hug.  It was so good to see him!  We miss him a lot.
  
• I didn't take any pictures.  I was in a vehicle with dirty windows and I couldn't roll the windows down.  I couldn't have taken anything that hasn't already been shown very well in the news already anyway.
• I helped a friend loot his own house before the anonymous looters could do it.
  
• Tomorrow is another day.  Maybe the next time I write I will tell you how it felt to be in PaP today, but I just can't do that now.
• The aftershocks continue
  

Trying to keep up

I've been away all day, and if I have time and energy tonight I will write about it.  My email box is exploding, so I'd like to say to all of you who have written and commented, I'm sorry if I can't respond right away.  We are about to get a whole lot busier here too, so it may be a while.

That said, I want you all to know how much I appreciate the kind words, gestures, and encouragement.  They show us that you aren't forgetting Haiti.  We need to know that you won't.  We are in this for the long haul and need your help.

Please also note, that if you send me a comment with any personal information like an email address or phone number I will not post the comment.  Or if you are asking something personal that's not related to the blog, I will try to answer you privately, but it may take a while.

Hurry up and wait

It's a quiet Sunday and time to sit and reflect a little before I go to church.

I haven't written very much about what's going on here in Fond des Blancs because there hasn't been a lot going on - everyone is in waiting and planning mode.

Our hospital is pretty remote which means that we haven't had a huge influx of patients - yet.  We know as things get more organized in PaP that our facilities will be used.  We know that we will be receiving patients coming for surgery (when we get a surgeon) and we may be used as a facility for post surgical care.  There is a great need for aftercare.  There will be a great need for treatment of the second wave of illness after disaster - infection.

We have been busy working with connections to make this happen.  We are sourcing medicines and supplies, and planning for receiving a large number of people.

The community has been pulling together.  Everyone is helping each other.  A committee has been put together to make an assessment of how many evacuees have arrived in the region and what their needs are.  Requests for assistance will be based on the assessment.  For now, we have already started to receive some emergency aid.  As it should be, the community is taking care of this.  St. Boniface is a large presence here, but ultimately the community needs to do this for itself, with us  supporting them in whatever way we can.

The tsunami coming: riding the waves of rescue, rebuilding, and resurrection

Great article about the different stages of medical need here in Haiti.

The tsunami coming: riding the waves of rescue, rebuilding, and resurrection

So cool...

I am completely blown away by what this fourth-grader has done.  Please go to A Heart for Haiti to read the story and buy some Valentine cards. Funds raised with this brilliant initiative will help St. Boniface Hait Foundation respond to the emergency in Haiti.

If you truly want to help...

If you truly want to help, please read this:

Disaster do-gooders can actually hinder help


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NYT: Some frank talk about Haiti

Some frank talk about Haiti

NYT Op-ed

By Nicholas D. Kristof

Published: January 20, 2010

On my blog, a woman named Mona pointed to Haitian corruption and declared: “I won’t send money because I know what will happen to it.” Another reader attributed Haiti’s poverty to “the low I.Q. of the 9 million people there,” and added: “It is all very sad and cannot be fixed.”

“Giving money to Haiti and other third-world countries is like throwing money in the toilet,” another commenter said. A fourth asserted: “Haiti is a money pit. Dumping billions of dollars into it has proven futile. ... America is deeply in debt, and we can’t afford it.”

Not everyone is so frank, but the subtext of much of the discussion of Haiti is despair about both Haiti and foreign aid. Pat Robertson, the religious broadcaster, went furthest by suggesting that Haiti’s earthquake flowed from a pact with the devil more than two centuries ago. While it’s not for a journalist to nitpick a minister’s theological credentials, that implication of belated seismic revenge on Haitian children seems defamatory of God.

Americans have also responded with a huge outpouring of assistance, including more than $22 million raised by the Red Cross from text messages alone. But for those with doubts, let’s have a frank discussion of Haiti’s problems:

Continue reading here 


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Where I'm at

At this precise moment my exact location is 18 degrees 16'39.38"N and 73 degrees 07'50.00"W.  Here's how SBHF looks on Google Earth.  Welcome to Fond des Blancs.

WIRED article - Haiti aftershocks will continue...

This article in WIRED is rather disturbing in it's predictions for the future.

In the first map it shows the locations of the quake and aftershocks.  Fond des Blancs is directly south of the group of circles at the left. 

Wow

Wow.  Four posts today.  Imagine that.  Oops, just made it five :)

Swamped

I'm trying to clean out my email inbox.  I'm the kind of person who keeps it to one page and puts everything in folders.  I'm going nuts with the disorder :)

I'm finding many emails and Facebook posts that I haven't had the time to respond to. I would like everyone to know that even if you haven't heard from me, I appreciate deeply the care and concern you have expressed. Your encouraging words and prayers are a huge help.

Mesi anpil, anpil, anpil.  Bondye beni nou  (Thank you so much, and may God bless you).

Ellen

Out and about

I decided to leave the hospital compound this morning - I am feeling very out of touch with the community.  I've been feeling out of touch with everyone here as I still don't understand kreyol very well.  I am missing out on the conversations, the escape with humour that those around me are enjoying.

I went to visit M. to see how she and her family are doing.  St. Boniface has recently built her a house of which she received the keys on 1 January.  The new house has suffered no damage but she is waiting until the latrine is ready before moving in.  They continue to live in the little leaf and bark house, but are sleeping outdoors.  I sat on an overturned bucket on which they had placed a cushion - the seat of honour they prepared when I called to say I was coming. We talked for a while about events and I promised M. if she came to the hospital I would show her pictures of the damage in PaP.  She has only heard about what has happened by word-of-mouth.  I am afraid to show her because she used to live there, has a lot of friends there, and I know she will be very shocked.

As she walked me back down the hill and through her neighbours yard we stopped there to look at the neighbours' house.  One of the walls had fallen down.  The roof and everything else was okay.  This house is made of rocks filled in with mud/clay and covered with something like cement or plaster, the way they were made before concrete blocks took hold in Haiti.  The rocks in one wall all tumbled out, leaving the house uninhabitable. The family is living in their cooking lean-to, which has never had the luxury of four walls.  Their possessions are all bundled up under the thatch roof, where they will be susceptible to rain and bad weather.  They plan to rebuild but don't have the means right now.

I continued on to visit EM, E's brother.  They have returned to Fond des Blancs from PaP with family members.  EM told me how he was on his way home from work and going through Carrefour when the earthquake hit.  He described how his car was shaken around, and how there was a huge cloud of dust that arose after the buildings collapsed.  He was very worried for his family as he rushed to his house near Carrefour to find that everyone was okay and the house was still standing.  They came back to Fond des Blancs for security.

They have been building a nice house here on the family property but it is far from finished.  Right now they are living in the old house on the property, one that is similar to the one I mentioned above.  Neither the new or old house suffered any damage and they are happy to be in a safe place.  I sat and talked with them, met the children, and EM showed some family photos.  One was of E as a little boy leading the procession of schoolchildren for flag day.  He was a very cute little boy.

As I walked back through the village I was noticing already how things have changed.  There's a lot more noise in general and seems to be more people around.  When I would walk past familiar yards, I would see children that I hadn't seen before.

I'm glad for the small, normal activities in the midst of all the strangeness and I am happy that people were happy to see me. I was also happy to tell them that, no, I wasn't going to be leaving, at least not yet.

Evacuation

Our visitors were finally able to leave on Tuesday.  We had 9 in total, but not all were able to leave on Saturday.  Five had to stay behind for three difficult days of waiting.

Sue, Anne, Lee, Martha, and Linda:  I hope you all had a smooth trip home and are enjoying being back in the arms of your loved ones.  Thank you for the support that you gave us while you were here.  You guys were wonderful, and held your cool amazingly well.

Lines of Communication

Up early again.  It's almost 6 am, but not light out yet because it is cloudy.  It's cold.

I was starting to get worried yesterday but not from the aftershock, though that was bad enough.  I had lost both means of communication and it made me uneasy.

Our cell phone service in Fond des Blancs is through Digicel.  For the first 5 or 6 days they were providing free service so I didn't worry about buying any credit. Then the free service ended.  I live in the back-of-beyond. There are few digicel phone cards available out here and I need a lot of credit to call the US and Canada.  Thankfully, before I lost internet access, I thought to contact my sister and ask her to go online and purchase credit for me through their website. It took several hours for her to be successful. For reasons I will never be able to understand, you cannot buy credit online for a digicel Haiti phone from within Haiti*.

The internet quit early in the afternoon.  I've read that many others lost service too.  It was quite worrying, but we waited and waited for it come back on.  It didn't.  Sometime in the evening I decided to just have a look at the wireless router (which I know nothing about). I saw a reset button.  I pressed it.  The internet came back on. THANK GOD


*I've tried everything with the website, but if anyone knows how to purchase credit online from within Haiti, please enlighten me.

Aftershocks continue

It's 6:15 am and everyone is out in the yard.  We just had a very strong aftershock of 6.0 that lasted about 10 seconds. As usual, our thoughts go straight to Port au Prince where everything is so unstable.

I was sitting at the kitchen table writing emails, and felt it start, expecting another small aftershock. It increased in intensity and didn't stop, so I yelled for Nancy and we ran outside.

People had just started to relax yesterday, working back indoors, sleeping indoors.  Now they will be outside again.

Early morning

I've been getting up early lately.  Wide awake by 4:30.  I've been sleeping well, but am tired most of the time. My stomach has started to bother me.  I had my first real cry this morning.

I feel very selfish writing the above, but there it is.  I am safe, we are all well here, we are not seeing much of the physical suffering, but it is still difficult.  The stories are hard.  Everyone I know has lost close relatives. Fred, a university grad who had recently been at St. Boniface for a work experience, showed up yesterday.  He lost two brothers and everything he owns.  He had nowhere else to go.  His usual joking, sociable demeanour was completely changed.  He is still in shock.

As time goes by, the realization of how much things have changed is sinking in.  The whole world is different.  Any plans anyone had for the future here have changed.  People have hope, but they realize that even the smallest things may never happen or need to be put on hold indefinitely.

We are still trying to evacuate our visitors. They waited again at the field for a helicopter yesterday. It was cancelled again.  Alternate plans were discussed, but it was decided that they would stay here where it is safe until they can be picked up. It is very hard on them, but they are thankful they are safe and realize how fortunate they are.

Today is a regular malnutrition program day.  We will hold it as usual, and as we give out the rations we will all be very thankful.

What day is it?

We still have visitors to evacuate and spent the entire day waiting for the helicopters that ultimately weren't able to come.  Very disheartening.  I stayed with them in case they had to leave anything behind and I would carry stuff back to the hospital.  It was difficult to sit and do nothing when there is so much to do but I wanted to be there for our visitors too.

While we were sitting waiting, we heard wailing and lamenting start from the Adventist church across the road.  A body had just been brought back from Port au Prince.  As we walked home, we passed the Catholic church, where a funeral was just ending.  There will be many funerals here in the coming days.

People are walking out of Port au Prince, and walking many miles to get to villages where their relatives will offer them shelter.  We are sending our trucks and ambulances in and picking people up who are heading to Fond des Blancs.

Comment to share

I just opened this comment, and felt it needed to be given a space of it's own:

Ellen,

I used to work with Elaine [my sister] and found your blog through her. I have been reading and following the posts and I have been praying for everyone down there.

I live in Kobe, Japan, and today is the 15th anniversary of the Kobe earthquake. It was horrible and I know a great many people who lived through it. The people in this area immediately get tears in their eyes when I mention Haiti. They know the pain of the loss that many are experiencing down there and their hearts are truly with you all.

Tell everyone to stay strong and don't lose faith...people are coming, it's difficult to get through but they are there and still arriving.

And let them know, the whole world has Haiti first and foremost in their thoughts and prayers.

Andrea Crosby
Kobe, Japan

Day 4

The aftershocks continue and remain a little disconcerting. Occasionally they are strong enough to give you a start, but they never last long and they make you wonder "if it feels like that here, what are they feeling in Port au Prince?".

We spent much time today trying to evacuate our visitors.  The first trip to a nearby field resulted in a five hour wait and a sunburn, but no helicopter.  After we returned to the hospital residence we heard a helicopter arrive and saw it land in the direction of the field.  We had been told they wouldn't come today so I didn't run to go and missed my photo op.  I thought it was a preliminary flight to check our landing area for medical flights, but they ended up taking half of the group.  The other half are still here and patiently waiting for a chance tomorrow.

I talked with a lot of people from the village today and all of them told me that they have taken in family members who have left Port au Prince.  The stories are heart wrenching.  We are all wondering what the future will bring.  They have lost homes and jobs, only to come to live with relatives in a remote place where there is no hope currently for employment.  We will become essentially a displacement camp.  The needs for food, water, clothing and health care will all increase.

Thank you

I wish I could say thank you individually to every person who has commented or sent me messages via Facebook. Your support and kind words mean the world to me. To know that we are not alone in this, that people care, makes it easier to be here.

Another thank you to those who have donated to the relief efforts.

From our director

My name is Conor Shapiro and I am a US citizen and general director of the St. Boniface Hospital in Fond des Blancs, Haiti. I wanted to send everyone a quick update of the situation on the ground as we see it.

As you all know by now, Port-Au-Prince other surrounding environs has been hit by a strong earthquake that has devastated the city and surrounding communities. At the time of the earthquake, I was in my office at the hospital in Fond des Blancs, about 65 miles from Port-Au-Prince. The shaking was quite serious, but we did not sustain much damage at the hospital or in the village. However, as soon as I heard that the epicenter was in Port-Au-Prince and couldn’t get in e-mail contact I rushed with other employees to find our families.

Our family house is located in Delmas, in one of the hardest hit areas of Port-Au-Prince. My wife Lise (who is four months pregnant) and daughter Lisa (6 years old) were able to e-mail me to say they were unharmed, but I wanted to evacuate them as soon as possible. Due to road damage we weren’t able to get into the city until yesterday morning and I was lucky to be able to get my family back to FdB. The roads from Port-Au-Prince along the southern coastline are extremely tenuous and many bridges are cracked and ready to fall. At one point we had to run across a bridge as a family while our vehicle and driver raced across to avoid it collapsing under our weight. We arrived in Fond des Blancs safely last night and are doing ok.

The scene in Port-Au-Prince is just inconceivable. Almost every building has major structural damage and most large buildings have collapsed. Bodies line the streets and millions of people are walking with nowhere to go. As of yesterday afternoon, there were no aid organizations that I could see and the suffering is just unbelievable. There needs to be a massive aid effort to restore order (I saw random incidents of mass hysteria), feed people, and get clean water to the population. Large refugee camps need to be set up throughout the city and it will be important to have security forces that can restore order, especially as time goes on. There also needs to be a huge effort to evacuate people who were injured by falling debris and concrete.

In Fond des Blancs, we have a functioning operating room, but need an orthopedic surgeon, supplies, gas (diesel and gasoline)and water as soon as possible. If anyone has contacts with the military, they can feel free to land by helicopter at a field within a ¼ mile of the hospital and deliver what is needed, so that we can start operating. *I would also like to evacuate a visiting American group of 10 people as well as 3 members of my family including my pregnant wife, daughter and nephew. If you don’t have contacts in the military, please feel free to donate funding to our organization at www.haitihealth.org. We will need financial help to deal with the aftermath as time goes on.

Please forward this document to anyone you think can help. Thank you and please e-mail at conorshap@yahoo.com if you have any questions or need further information in terms of getting the help that I have requested.

* Plans are already underway to evacuate our visitors.

Saturday morning

I've awakened the last couple of mornings feeling the usual way, only to remember shortly after what is going on.

In many ways, it's life as usual here right now.  People are doing their jobs at the hospital, the marchands are selling their cookies, candy and crackers.  But it's not life as usual - there is an underlying sense of fear and grief.

As time passes, we are thinking more about what this means for the future of Haiti and our community.  We don't see a good picture.  When you hear the infrastructure is gone, it means it is gone.  Haiti is still a place where much is done on paper, and all that paper is at the bottom of a pile of rubble. Adoption records are lost.  Birth certificates are lost.  The government has lost many of it's departmental buildings.

The question is how on earth does a country recover from something like this?  The Haitian people are resilient and strong, but how will they do it?

Appeal

My name is Nannette Canniff, President and CEO of St. Boniface Haiti Foundation.  I am in Fond des Blancs Haiti for the past week and am experiencing the impact of the earthquake.  Although our hospital did not sustain much damage and is functioning, our outlying cllinic in Villa was destroyed.

 

It has been a waiting game so far, but today people are beginning to arrive from PaP.  We understand there are many with broken limbs and gashes and severe emotional trauma.  Haitian people here are staying out doors as much possiblle. They are very afraid.

 

Our staff at the hospital is doing a superb job, continuing to give care to our patients inspite of the fact that some of their loved ones have died or are missing. Everyone one who has come from Port au Prince is in shock. This morning one of our med interns from Les Cayes said that city sustained some damage as well. He was also in shock and searching for his family members.

 

For the moment, we are safe, as is the group visiting from the US. We cannot leave FdB, there is no place to go..  We will be needing supplies (regular disaster-type as well as medical), water, diesel fuel and food. We are checking every available avenue for evacuation of the visiting group, but only relief flights are allowed into Haiti right now.

 

The stories are amazing and horrendous at the same time.  So many escaped certain death by seconds. Some stepped outside the building they were in, only to have it collapse immediately after killing all their friends and fellow students.

 

We ask everyone who reads this to send monetary donations to St. Boniface, as we do not know how supplies are coming through.  In the days ahead we will need these supplies.  We are praying that no one forgets Haiti in week or two because it will need international help for a long time

 

Please send donations to  www.haitihealth.org or SBHF, 400 No. Main St., Randolph, MA 02368

We thank you for whatever you can do for us and ask you for your prayers.  Keep checking our website for regular updates.

 

Nannette Canniff

Fond des Blancs, Haiti

ncanniff@sbhfhaiti.org

Interview

Fox & Friends will be interviewing by phone our country director, Conor Shapiro, at 8 am eastern.  I'm not sure if it will be rerun later.

Emergency Planning

We started emergency planning measures shortly after we learned of the severity of the earthquake.  Today we are advancing in earnest.

I have tried to never use this blog for fundraising, but everything here has changed.

Yesterday, when Conor was in Port au Prince he saw a lot of things, but he saw no relief work going on.  We know from the news today that it will be starting but still many are leaving the city.

We know that many hospitals have been damaged.  We know that people have lost their homes and jobs and no longer have a reason to stay in PaP.  We are expecting an influx of patients for the hospital and people returning to their relatives who live here.  We know our resources are going to be taxed beyond our ability.  We need your help.

More stories from St. Boniface

FROM OUR ST. BONIFACE BLOG:

God is in Haiti

By Content Author on January 14 2010, 2:58pm

1-14-2010
I have a story to tell about God working in ways beyond our comprehension once again.  It is a wonder every time it happens.

I have been very worried about all of our boys in University who go to school and live in Port au Prince.  We had heard on 1/12 Tuesday that they had run out of the house just before it collapsed.  We didn't know who was home at the time but knew that they needed help because some had no shoes or shirts and were wandering around with no place to go.  No money as well.  We didn't have a way to get to them and we felt helpless.

Then later that day I received an email from the office indicating that one of our board members was concerned about his father and brother in Haiti.  He was unable to make a call to see if they were okay.  I couldn't find Conor or Nannette so I happened to walk up to Ellen Boldon to see if she could help me.  She said that she knew the father well and would be willing to walk down from the hospital to see if he was at home and doing okay.  When she came back she told me that the father was fine in FDB but the brother had not been heard from - he works in PAP.  She emailed the news to the US and that was all we could do at the time.

I was instant messaging with my family on Wednesday evening when Nannette came running to me at about 7 pm and said she couldn't believe it - the Xavier House boys had just arrived in a pickup truck.  They came wearily up the stairs to greet us.  Their faces were very somber and we all hugged, relieved.  We ushered them in and gave them food and drink.  They were all walking poorly saying they had traveled about 15 miles before someone had found them yesterday and picked them up to transport them out.  Yves and Duval had walked for several miles without shoes before strangers called out to them and told them to take the shoes of their dead - they would not need them now so give them to someone who could (Yves was very quiet while he told us this story).  Lesly told us that he had been inside the school, they had just finished and he walked outside and the school shook and fell down behind him.  He said that all of the other students were still inside.

After the students ate, they were driven home to see their families.  Duval walked up to me and was apologizing because he had gone to the bank to get the money for the house and forgot to get it before he ran out (it's enough to make me cry if they think that it was important he should have thought to take it with him).  They were safe!   I walked up to the gentleman driver and thanked him for bringing the 6 men to the hospital to see us.  I asked his name and I gasped in surprise.  It was the board member's brother who knew one of the Xavier House students and saw them walking in Ti-Goave.  I asked him to immediately sit down at the computer and email his brother in the states to tell him that he was okay.  Again I must say "Mesi Bondye".  The boys want to return to the house to see if they can get any of their belongings.  I have since heard that Michel Laude who has been working in our accounting department at the hospital has gone back to see what he can find.

Duval came back the next day to talk to me more about their experience.  I listened carefully as he talked about not knowing what was happening as the house was shaking.  As the stairs were collapsing under his feet, he ran and made it outside.  The cook and cleaner who were downstairs also met him on the street.  Several people held onto each other as they rocked back and forth with the earthquake.  They slept in the street that night all lined up in a row.  He told me that if he had not been home to take care of his sick brother that day, he would have been in school.  His school had collapsed as well.  His mother who had not heard from him and his brother had thought he was dead and was so happy to see him last night.  He also said he would have graduated from school in August and now, after 5 years of studying very hard, he did not know when that would happen now that his school was gone.  He would be graduating from dental school.   Duval also told me that Winddcheley our diplomacy student was also okay and was now back in Fond des Blancs.  Winddcheley had just returned from the States on Sunday and was still on holiday from school.  He said he had heard from Michel Clerfort but did not know about Wisnick because his house was gone.

The latest sad news is that our new clinic in Villa did not survive intact.  Dr. Miliane had gone up to check on it yesterday and there is a big crevice in the ground that has broken the building in two.  I don't know what will happen now and I don't believe you can repair a building that has a deep line in the ground underneath it.  What an absolute shame.

Conor has gone today (Thursday, 1/14/2010) to assess the situation in PAP, talk to people he knows and bring his family out to FDB.  He will be gone all day.  The funeral for Jules' daughter is to be held today at 3pm.  All of us will be going to this sad event.  The group went walking in the community yesterday and has gone to Kay Gran Moun today.  We are still trying to have an immersion experience; however, we all agree it is unlike any other one we have ever had.  At reflection last night, Nannette commented on how many things she has witnessed during her 27 years coming to Haiti.  This has truly been the worst for her and I'm sure most of you agree that that must be pretty bad.  This morning we were encouraged to send a list of US citizens to the US embassy in PAP who is formulating an evacuation plan for those who are stranded in Haiti.  We will share more information as we know it.  All flights coming into PAP are for authorized personnel.  The US has sent a team to assess the situation.  Other countries are already flying help in.  If our SBHF family wishes to do something from afar, the needs are prayers and money to keep the hospital going.  We know that the hospital will probably be utilized for patients since so many of the hospitals in PAP have been destroyed.  Although the patient count was low yesterday, we don't anticipate that to continue for very long as the people migrate out of the capital to find shelter and family that live elsewhere.

I have included pictures from the past two days and an explanation page to go along with it.  Share it with those that wish to get news.  I will write more as I can.

My best from here to you there,

Linda

Please help our efforts in Haiti

LETTER FROM ST. BONIFACE HAITI FOUNDATION:

Dear Friends of Haiti:

Haiti has been hit by the first large earthquake in 240 years. The enormity of the effects of this devastating 7.0 quake are only barely understood at this time. Thousands may have been killed and tens of thousands left homeless. This is a moment in which your solidarity is of critical importance.   Haiti's grassroots movement - including labor unions, women's groups, educators and human rights activists, support committees for prisoners, and agricultural cooperatives - will attempt to funnel needed aid to those most hit by the earthquake. Grassroots organizers are doing what they can - with the most limited of funds - to make a difference. Please take this chance to lend them your support.

This is a time for all of us to act.

What Can You Do?

We urge you to contribute generously, not only for this immediate crisis, but in order to support the long-run development of human rights, sustainable agriculture and economic justice in Haiti.   During this period, if you or anyone you know are planning to make a donation to assist those in need, please consider SBHf. Donations will be forwarded to our partners on the ground to help them rebuild what has been destroyed.

In solidarity with the Haitian people,

Nannette M. Canniff
President/CEO
St. Boniface Haiti Foundation

Please go here to the St. Boniface Haiti Foundation website to donate.

Starting the new day

I am going to try to write more because I've been realizing how important it is to other people.  They may just be quick posts.

We have 8 American visitors with us right now.  They arrived the afternoon of the earthquake and were on the road when it happened.  They've been wonderful in terrible circumstances and have remained calm and been very helpful to us.  We are so thankful that everyone has been able to maintain contact with the outside world through the internet.

We are in a very safe place - heaven compared to Port au Prince (even in normal times).  We have everything we need. Our visitors' families are very worried about them.  We're working on evacuation plans for them and are being patient to make sure we use the safest options.

So relieved

Just received word that the people at Hospice St. Joseph in Christ Roi are okay.  The house has collapsed but they made it out in time.  We were very worried about them.

Looking for Loved Ones

One of the most difficult things has been the not knowing.  We've heard from lots of people looking for loved ones.  I've been able to help a couple of people locate those they were worried about and were in Fond des Blancs, safe and sound.  I've received a few requests regarding people living in Port au Prince who I am not able to help due to the distance and the lack of phone access.

If you are looking for loved ones, please go to the International Committee of the Red Cross and post your information there.  You can also check out Hands Across Haiti 's bulletin board.

Added:  There's a Facebook group called Earthquake Haiti that posted the following:

HAITI EMERGENCY CONTACT PHONE NUMBERS:


Anyone attempting to connect with family members or friends traveling or living in the region should call the On Call International hotline: 800-576-5172. Or, they can call On Call International collect at 603-328-1924. Callers should have as much information as possible readily available at the time of call, including tour operator name, itineraries, hotel information or cell phone numbers.U.S. citizens in Haiti can call the Embassy’s Consular Task Force at 509-2229-8942, 509-2229-8089, 509-2229-8322, or 509-2229-8672. To get help or find information in Haiti call: 1888-404-4747 or 202-332-4090, you can also call signal FM at: 305-407-2119.
The State Department Operations Center has set up the following number for Americans seeking information about family members in Haiti: 1-888-407-4747.

Waiting to learn

Where do I begin? The fatigue is setting in. It’s not that I’ve been helping rescue people from collapsed buildings, but it’s been a very difficult day. This will not be as well written as I would like.

Yesterday I was in the food depot beneath the convent, keeping an eye out for tarantulas, when the shaking began. I’ve experienced a minor earthquake, so I immediately knew what it was. I also know the building standards here in Haiti, so I was outside in a flash. When I got outside the tremor became very strong. As I was heading to the center of the yard, I was almost thrown to the ground. The dump truck was swaying back and forth and I remember hoping that the brakes were in good shape or I was in trouble.

We’ve been having a lot of aftershocks. They come about every 5 minutes, but now they are very mild. Last night was scary as they were pretty strong. Every time they came, we would start to run outside. We ended up taking chairs out to the yard and sitting there for a while. We headed indoors to sleep but most of the staff and patients slept outdoors, either in the main yard or the courtyard of the hospital. Even tonight when I passed through, there were people bundled up sleeping on the grass. They’re very scared that it will happen again.


I’ve been getting a few requests from people to check on others to see if they’re okay. There’s a group called Moving with the Spirit out of Boston, who are starting an orphanage in a village not too far from here. We’ve made friends with them and have gone to visit. Their people in the US had been unable to contact the two Americans who are living here so I sent one of our guys with a note to check on them. He brought back a note saying they were all okay and I was able to relay it to the US. We’re very worried about our friends at Hospice St. Joseph in Christ Roi. It is the guest house where we frequently stay and we have heard it has been substantially damaged but we don’t know how their staff have fared.

We heard earlier that all of the young men that we sponsor at Xavier House (a scholarship program) in Canape Vert were okay. They safely escaped the house before it collapsed. They arrived this evening with horrific stories. Yves Florant was telling us that the stairway he was going down was collapsing behind him, and he barely made it out the doorway. They were telling us that most of their classmates are dead. They arrived in Fonds des Blancs with a man that I’ve been trying to reach by phone because his family hasn’t heard from him. He has lost two houses in PaP. Both he and the young men of Xavier house have only the clothes they are wearing. They have lost everything.

One of our new social service doctors has lost her father. Tomorrow we will attend the funeral of a three year old girl, the daughter of my friend Jules. Tomorrow I also expect we will learn of more losses, and will hear more miraculous stories.

There is a lot of fear here. People don’t know if it will come again, they don’t know where their loved ones are, they don’t know what will become of them, what the future will bring. We do know that it will be very difficult here for the unforeseeable future. The infrastructure is gone. The government is gone. The price of food and fuel is already starting to rise. There may be increased crime and violence.

Thank you to all who have been praying for us. It means so much to us. I ask that you please help with the relief efforts. Money is the best thing a person can send at this time. Please help the emergency relief organizations. If you would like to donate to St. Boniface Haiti Foundation it would be very much appreciated. While we do not have death and destruction here, the needs of our community will increase as food and fuel become more scarce, and as people leave the city to come to the safety of the countryside. Our resources will be stretched and we will need help.

Quick Update

Just a quick note to let everyone know that we are safe and sound in Fond des Blancs.  We certainly felt the earthquake but we haven't experienced the damage and loss of life that Port au Prince has.  Our visitors from the Boston area were on the road here when it happened and made it safely without incident.

I'll write more in the coming days.  I ask for your prayers for this beautiful country and her people.  If you feel moved to support relief efforts please consider donating.  There were already many hurting people here; the sufferening from this will be immeasurable.

The red rhino

Today was the first day that I've been scared driving our little utility vehicle, the red rhino. 
We've gotten a lot of rain in the past few days and the road to Kay Granmoun has a few bad areas, the worst of which is the ravine that you need to cross just before you get there.

The ravine has a steep incline on both sides and a stream at the bottom.  It's usually a mess to cross, with deep ruts where the vehicles drive.  Today the water wasn't much deeper but the mud certainly was.  The rhino doesn't have as much clearance as our trucks do so I couldn't drive in the same spot as the ruts.  Where I could drive was pretty soft.  It has four wheel drive, and has never gotten stuck before, but it almost happened today.  I was also afraid that it would tip over because one spot had quite a tilt - I could see myself pinned down face first in the mud.

Anyway, I made it to Kay Granmoun wondering if maybe I wouldn't have been better off walking there. The only thing that would have gotten stuck would have been my shoes.

2010 begins

It's a quiet day today. Sundays usually are, but it's even moreso than usual. There have been some changes here recently. Sr. Ellen, my friend, co-worker, and residence-mate has left Haiti after 18 years. She was with St. Boniface for 4 years, and she added a lot to my experience here in the last two. I'm going to miss her.

Dr. Cadet, our much respected and loved director, has also finished his time. He did a tremendous amount of work toward the growth of the organization, and his vision will continue. Personally, he was an inspiration to me, he shared his wisdom and gave me much insight into Haiti and her culture.

Nicole C., a volunteer who has been here since last January also ended her time in December. She was lively and a lot of fun. Her energy and sarcasm enthusiasm will be missed :)

So, I am sitting at my desk mentally preparing myself for the start of work tomorrow, and the start of the new year. I am looking forward to meeting the new people who will be coming, and the visitors we will have. I'm looking forward to continuing recent new responsibilities and the challenges they will bring. I'll admit I am a little afraid too, but it's really just fear of the unknown and I can easily talk myself out of it.

I received good news last month that means that I will be able to stay in Haiti for another year. Generous donors have decided to sponsor me with a stipend that will allow me to stay. Until now I have been volunteering and living off my savings, which were going to run out in the next couple of months. I don't feel that my time here has finished - still so much more I want to do - and I don't want to leave just yet. I love it here and I love working for St. Boniface.

So, what do I wish for the New Year to bring? Here's my list of aspirations:

- to be healthier - physically, mentally, and spiritually
- to make more friends in Haiti - actually meet some of the people I've corresponded with
- to see more of the country
- to grow professionally

These are all pretty general and are meant to be that way because any steps I take in those directions will be an improvement.

For those of you who read my blog, I wish you all a rewarding, fulfilling, blessed year. May God's generous hand be apparent in even the smallest of things.

New Year's Eve

After all my travel woes of last week and losing four days of my vacation home waiting for flights and missing connections, I hit another snag yesterday. I was supposed to be picked up and driven back to Fond des Blancs, but there was a problem with the ambulance. So after waiting all day, I realized that I would be spending New Year's Eve in Port au Prince, too late to make any plans to do anything interesting with anyone else.

It actually wasn't too bad, but would have been better if I hadn't been alone. I spent some time watching a few episodes of "Long Way Round", kind of a lighter Motorcycle Diaries, but with a British accent and a larger budget :) I drank a beer, ate some smashed-to-bits crackers, and waited for midnight.

Port au Prince was all lit up, at least from where I was sitting. There was music coming from everywhere and people putting up occasional fireworks all evening. When midnight hit, I watched fireworks from five different locations, the best of which I think were being set off at Champs Mars. The noise went on until about 4am. It was difficult to sleep as there were a lot of people walking home and setting off bangers that sounded like gunshots.

I woke this morning later than usual to a very quiet city. I had soup joumou for breakfast, the traditional pumpkin soup that is served on 1 January, and am now sitting on the galeri waiting for my drive to Fond des Blancs. And watching for Emerson's plane to fly over the bay departing for the States.

If this post sounds a little melancholy, it is. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Emerson. I just want to get home to my place - I've slept in 8 different beds in the last 14 days, and I'm tired of all the sitting and waiting. I'm having a little pity party for myself to start the New Year, but I'll talk myself out of it soon and write a cheerful New Year's post. That's a promise.